It was a rainy Tuesday morning my senior year of college.
I remember laying in my bed, staring out my window, and coming to the harrowing realization that I didn’t want the career that I bet my entire future on for the past 11 years.
As expected, panic ensued.
I had a breakdown in my living room as my roommate was trying to eat his breakfast in peace.
“I have no idea what I’m going to do! I thought I wanted this for so long and now I know that it’s not what I want and I’m terrified.”
As I was ranting on the couch, my roommate, whose name I’ll leave confidential (it’s Cody), looked at me and said something I’ll never forget: “Just do what you want to do then, and forget about the rest.”
Now, this may not seem like some game-changing knowledge missile that he fired, but it had a profound effect on me.
1. It helped me to realize that I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was focusing on what was wrong with my situation, not the infinite possibilities that were right in front of me.
2. It gave me the determination to create my system of reinvention that I have turned into a coaching business where I help people who feel stuck and lost in life, find their way back to their true purpose.
3. It showed me the value in a quarter-life crisis.
It’s been 3 years since that rainy morning talk on the couch and I’ve already reinvented myself at least four times since. And you know what the best part is? I’m nowhere near done developing myself, and I fucking love it.
Before I get into the mechanics of my reinvention strategy, I want to use this space to explain something that often goes overlooked in the “change your life” department.
Memorize these next four words and repeat them when you’re struggling. You are not broken.
No matter where you are in your life at the moment, that’s where you’re supposed to be, because there is a lesson waiting for you. However, it won’t benefit you to stay there too long.
The personal development industry has grown so vast because of its popularity in promising a new, successful life. I make none of these promises, and never will. If anyone tells you they can change you, don’t listen to another word. Too many frauds make a killing in the coaching industry off false promises.
No one changes until they’re ready to put in the work of changing. If you want to change, then you have to be ready to change.
With that said, if you’re not ready to fully commit to enhancing your life and creating an existence you’ve been up late staring at the ceiling over, then leave this post. Come back to it when you’re serious. I want to help you, but only when you’re willing to be helped.
Get your pen and paper out, it’s time to learn how to live again.
(Note: This is just a brief overview of my strategy. For full implementation of the plan, I highly suggest we hop on the phone to see if we would work well together in reinventing your life)
The Ultimate Guide To Reinventing Your Life
1. Identify What Went Wrong
If you think hard enough, you’ll be able to identify the exact moment, or collection of moments, that caused you to drift away from your core and shaped the future you’re living in now.
Maybe you were once a great athlete that lived for the thrill of the game, but it all ended and you had no idea what to do next.
Maybe you were in a great relationship that ended painfully and took a part of you with it.
Whatever the moment, identify it and write it down.
That moment took something from you. It created a sense that you were not the same person without that element in your life, so now you must go on lost and wandering.
What did that moment take from you?
Write it out in full detail before moving onto the next point.
2. What Would You Be If You Could Be Anything?
We answer this question relentlessly as children. We go from aspiring astronauts, to firefighters, to policemen, to superheroes. We put no limits on our potential because we don’t know of any.
As we get older, we realize that life doesn’t always want us to find the easy path to our dreams. We get tested, beat down, and discouraged from following our childhood aspirations.
If we let life take our beliefs away too often, we will lose our belief in ourselves. We won’t feel like our dreams can become reality. We will lose our way.
So right now, I need you to think like your younger self and apply it to your current life. If you could be, do, or have anything, what would it be?
Write it out in full detail.
Here’s the best part about reinventing your life. You can be anything, or anyone, that you want to be. All it takes is a little commitment, a smart plan, and iron determination. All of which we’ll cover in the ensuing points.
3. Who Are You?
If you’re going to reinvent your life, then you have to redefine your life.
I don’t care who you “feel” like you are now, define who you really are! Deep down, you know what you’re about and you know who you are at your core.
Write out everything you believe yourself to be (all positives) and don’t stop until you truly can’t think of anything. I mean it when I say write everything out, too. If you’re the best snickerdoodle cookie maker on the planet, write it down!
Once you define yourself, you can build your life on those principles.
4. What Are Your Standards?
If you’re reinventing yourself, you need to develop some set standards for how you live. Without this, you’re liable to open yourself up to poor habits and beliefs.
Think of standards like an owner’s manual, only the product is you.
For example, if part of reinventing yourself involves losing weight, your standard might be something like “No matter how difficult life feels, I will trust in my ability to stay conscious of my weight, and use exercise as a stress-reliever.”
Your standards can be anything, but make sure they are defined well enough to create a crystal-clear approach to how you want to live your life and who you want to be at all times. Create standards for all areas of your life too: health, relationships, career, family, etc.
Once you create at least 3 standards for each area, move on to the next point.
5. Find A Mentor
This piece of the personal development puzzle almost always gets under-utilized, but it might be the most effective element.
Modeling somebody that has already done exactly what you want to do is the easiest way to learn how to change.
Think about it.
If you wanted to make money in the stock market, you could either read a few books on strategies and tactics, OR you could study somebody who is currently making money in the stock market. Chances are, you’ll be much more efficient and successful with the latter option.
Finding a good mentor, or hiring a coach (sometimes even more effective than a mentor), could make all the difference in your success rate of change.
Think about some people you know, either personally or professionally, that would be a good mentor to follow and study under. Write out as many names as you think of, regardless if you think they will help you or not.
If you don’t know of anybody in-person, look up some people that have done what you want to do and immerse yourself in their story. Read all articles pertaining to their progression, study their habits, watch videos of them, whatever it takes to give you a better understanding of how to do what they’ve done.
Changing your life is challenging enough, you shouldn’t have to do it without any help.
6. Never Stop Growing
This final piece is crucial.
Chances are, the reason you feel stuck or lost in the first place is because you got too comfortable.
Comfort is good at times, but too much can have a negative effect on our growth and development.
When we get too comfortable, we tend to venture out less and less. We become fearful of opportunities and we tend to find ourselves drifting into pessimism. This, ultimately, leads us to avoiding what we need to do in order to grow, in place of staying comfortable.
It’s time to get uncomfortable if you truly desire change.
You can start small; think learning a new concept every day that will help you change.
As you become more and more immersed in growth, you’ll start venturing out more and opening yourself up to new opportunities and chances to grow.
Remember, what doesn’t grow always dies.
Write out at least three areas of your life that could benefit from growth immediately and how that growth would improve your entire well-being.
In The End, Remember To Be Yourself
No matter how drastically you plan to change, don’t ever lose sight of who you are. The moment you place all faith and belief in yourself is the moment you can make anything happen. It may take days, months, or years, but as long as you stay true to who you are, the journey will be well worth it.
For a full 7-day course that goes into much more depth and implementation about how to reinvent your life, check out my free 7-Day Life Transformation Program.
Best of luck in your transformation!