In life, we tend to be creatures of desire.
In simpler terms, we want things.
The desires we have are rarely unattainable, yet we find ways to talk ourselves out of getting what we want because we don’t see it as possible. Some things we want are good, and some things are….not so good.
Ultimately, we tend to develop a weak sense of self-worth.
Take a moment right now and think of something significant you’ve wanted to have in your life. This desire could be materialistic, like a nice house or a dream car. It could be born of love, such as having a passionate relationship or a beautiful family. Or it could be a product of your own doing, such as starting your own business.
Whatever the case, I want you to imagine what it is that you truly desire and spend a minute or two immersing yourself in that vision. If you already have many of things you want in life, focus on how you can have even more or improve upon them.
Now, as you were visualizing what you wanted, did it seem more like a dream or a reality? Did it feel like you were destined to attain this or that “it would be nice to have?’’
If it felt more like a dream than reality, your belief system needs a bit of work. Lucky for you, changing our beliefs is one of the simplest things we can do to enhance our lives!
Over the course of my career, I’ve picked up on a few key patterns that keep people from getting what they want; especially when it comes to a goal or desire.
If I told you that by changing only 3 beliefs you could have anything you want, would you be willing to pay me for it? What if I then proceeded to tell you what those 3 beliefs were and how to reframe them to serve your needs, what about then?
I’m in a good mood, so I’ll make you a deal. I’ll teach you what 3 beliefs are keeping you from getting what you want and how to reframe them for the low, low price of…..
However, I will request a different form of payment. If you read these strategies, you must make a dedicated attempt to implement them into your life to create positive change.
Remember, knowledge is not power. The application of knowledge is power.
Without further ado, I give you: The Three Elements Keeping You From Getting What You Want
What will never cease to amaze me about humankind is our unrelenting ability to lose faith in ourselves. Even worse, we tend to count ourselves out before we even begin!
Doubt will stop you in your tracks and could result in you getting off the tracks entirely. By letting doubts cloud our vision, we begin to eliminate possibilities. We delete outcomes because we don’t know if they will happen.
Doubt is usually the result of a lack of information or, more prevalent, certainty.
If we don’t know what will happen in the future or we are lacking the necessary information to know without a shadow of a doubt that what we want is possible, we will begin to doubt our ability to bring it to fruition.
Typically, doubt is the catalyst for inactivity. When we doubt ourselves, we are less likely to put forth a concentrated effort towards getting what we want. If we doubt long enough, we encounter our second element of dream robbing: fear.
It always finds its way around in some form or fashion, it produces anxiety, and can control almost all of our focus.
But do you know why fear really sucks? Because it’s not real. We create it. And the more fear we create, the stronger it becomes.
Fear is a product of what I like to call the “what if” factor.
What if my business fails and I go broke? What if my significant other leaves me? What if I get what I want and I’m not happy? What if it’s not really what I want? What if, what if, what if…..
We tend to assume the worst-case scenario will always play out, and that the best-case scenario is a pipe dream. Yet both scenarios are equal in reality if you have not yet attempted going after what you want.
What you focus on most will determine what kind of effort you put into going after your dreams. And when you focus too much on your fears, you will encounter the third aspect of this formula that prevents you from getting what you want: hesitation.
Remember when you were young and all of your friends were learning to swim underwater? I know I do.
I specifically remember being terrified to put my head under the water for fear of drowning. Even though all of my friends were doing it, I couldn’t pull myself to do it. I would do the bare minimum. I would put my chin under, eventually my nose, I would dunk my face but not my whole head; I just couldn’t pull myself to go all the way under!
Until one day I decided I was going to do it. I mustered up the courage to get into the pool with the mindset of going underwater. Keep in mind I was like 5, so this was a big moment for me.
When the time came to go under, I froze. I was terrified. All my courage left. Fear was taking over, and I was hesitating.
And I hesitated for about 20 minutes.
Thankfully, a good friend of mine dunked me underwater and I had no chance to hesitate anymore. Was I pissed? Absolutely. Startled? Yes. Did I go under again that day? You bet I did.
Moral of the story is that my fear was producing my hesitation and that hesitation was bringing me nowhere closer to my goal; rather, it was preventing it. Who else has experienced something similar to this?
Our doubts, fears, and hesitations provide the recipe for limiting our potential and preventing us from getting what we really want.