In part one, I discussed the three main obstacles that get in our way whenever we pursue something that we want. The three criteria, if you recall, are doubts, fears, and hesitations.
In this segment, I am going to teach you how to overcome these dream-killing obstacles, and step confidently in the direction of your best life.
It is worth noting that you will always have doubts, fears, and hesitations. They are a part of life that will always resurface. However, if you know how to combat them, you stand a much better chance at overcoming them.
And that’s where I come in.
Having spent most of my life overcoming all of my own insecurities, in addition to learning the effective methods of teaching other people how to overcome their own self-limitations, I have developed some really profound strategies to beat these challenges.
Shall we begin?
Step 1: Overcoming Doubt
The first step in conquering your doubt is to define where the source of the doubt is coming from.
For example, if you doubt your abilities to achieve a specific goal, you have to break down why that is. If you doubt yourself because you’ve never done it before, then you don’t have enough substance to prove your doubts true. If you’ve never done something before, you can’t possibly know that you can’t do it!
If, however, you’ve tried something before and failed, then you have to make a decision. And your decision only has two options: 1. You either build from your past mistakes, or 2. You take a completely different approach the second time around.
After you’ve identified the source of the doubt, you must accept control over your doubt. This step is critical. By taking back control of your focus, you can channel it away from doubt and into confidence or possibility. Rather than focus on why you doubt something, focus on why you’re going to do it!
Doubt will create fear so, if you can eliminate your doubts, you can eliminate your fear and replace it with confidence.
Step 2: Overcoming Fear
If doubt gets the better of you, you will begin to feel fear. This is normal. But do you know what fear really is?
Fear happens when we don’t know what the outcome of a situation is going to be. Our minds have to come up with an answer to the question, what’s going to happen? Usually, we tend to think in “what if’s” or worst case scenarios.
Fear is caused by stress, which is caused by uncertainty. Uncertainty is also known as the fear of the unknown.
There’s a saying that goes: “You’re not afraid of the dark; you’re afraid of what’s hiding in it.”
Many of us let fear get the better of us because we create so many scenarios in our head to justify the fear. But, at its core, all fear really turns out to be is an emotional manifestation of our mind.
I’ll put things in a different light.
Have you ever been really afraid to do something, dwelled on it for days/weeks/months, and when you finally did it you realized that the fear didn’t turn out to be true? This is likely the case in almost all situations.
To truly overcome your fear, you could do a lot of mental work and self-talk. Or you could engage in a few exercises that pull out your confidence. These all work, but there is one fundamental reality when it comes to conquering fear.
To conquer fear, you must accept that it’s not real. After you accept that it’s not real, you must go confidently and directly into your fear. You’ll always come out the other side.
The only way to determine a truth from fear is to address the fear itself.
Step 3: Overcoming Hesitation
Okay, so you’ve completed the first two steps flawlessly.
You’ve eliminated doubt and you walked head first into your fear. But what happens on the precipice of change? Hesitation.
We hesitate for many reasons, but primarily it is due to a lack of trust in ourselves to achieve the desired outcome. The confidence we usually call on in times of action wanes in the face of uncertainty, and we hesitate.
Hesitation is a form of procrastination. Any chronic procrastinators out there?
When you hesitate, you prolong the inevitable. The only difference is that by hesitating, you are allotting more time for yourself to dwell on the perceived outcome (see doubt and fear). The more you hesitate, the more likely doubt and fear will creep back in.
The best way to battle hesitation is to act! However, there are effective and ineffective times to act.
You should not act when: you’re still in fear, you still doubt, you don’t trust yourself, you don’t have a strong enough reason for doing what you’re doing.
Here’s why: If you have not spent time getting yourself ready and motivated to get what you want, then you will be very likely to focus on your doubts and fears rather than your desired outcome. When you focus on what you don’t want, as opposed to what you do want, you tend to get more of the former.
You should act when: you’ve done the prep work and confidently addressed your doubts and fears. Once minimized, you will feel more settled about pursuing your desires. From this point, you can amplify your confidence, get yourself in a peak emotional state, and create certainty in your mind that it is impossible for you to fail at getting what you want.
So, yes, getting what you want requires work. Big shock there, right? But what many don’t understand is that it requires much more mental work than physical. If you incorporate the knowledge I have given you in this article, I firmly believe you can overcome your doubts, fears, and hesitations to get anything you want!